Following on from my previous article on Dreams and goals I was thinking about how we as humans strive for our goalsand how best to encourage our children to reach for their dreams,
It has recently come to my attention through my daughter and her experience that it isn't just about remaining true to your dreams it is also about remaining committed enough to put in the energy required to persue the dreams we are holding on to.
The other little side issue is that while we hold our dreams tight in our hands we are not actually taking any risks, We have to trust inour instincts and our teaching and just bite the proverbvial bullet. Sometimes we are scared that if we release the dream a little we may fail but we need to be reassured that our dreams never die.
On the playlist I have been embedding into my article the last few months you will find a few songs that are empowering in this process. Hold On by Wislon Phillips, Reach and Bring it all Back by Sclub 7 all speak about reaching for the stars and holding on to your dreams no matter what life may throw at you.
In the last month there has been some footage taken from Britain's most talented television show that shows a not so young lady named Susan Boyle. This spinster lives alone with her cat and has always wanted to sing. When asked why she had never done anything about it she stated that the opportunity had never presented itself. The audience sniggered at her appearance and cringed at her humour and laughed at her dream yet she stood firm, undetered by anyone least of all the judges. Then she sang... and a stunned silence spread across the room, the judges jaws dropped and then thunderous applause broke out whenever she hit a totally perfect note. It was beautiful and moving.
The video can not be embeded any further so I provide here the link via my youtube channel
I took this as a lesson for my kids especially my step son and my daughter. I told them that it showed how you should never give up on your dreams, never lose sight of yourself stay firm to your resolve to achieve your goals, never quit and always reach for the stars, take every opportunity that presents itself as long as it doesnt require selling out and just do it! You must never ever allow anyone to steal your dreams.
Now in terms of achieving this as a goal the other most important factor is to actually do the work. Nothing comes that easily if it is worthwhile and long lasting. That in itself is the hardest lesson of all. When we get knocked down or back we have to remember to pick ourselves up, and keep right on going. The best lesson we can provide here for our children is to actually live by this creed ourselves.
We as parents must set ourselves goals, strive to achieve them, pick ourselves up when we get knocked down and remain true to ouselves.
We must always keep in mind too that we are not living our children's lives they are and what they want to achieve may seem unreasonable to us or even unattainable however they are living in the brave new world where everything happens at high speed. Look at the advances in technology in the last 15 years alone. These children of ours have grown up in the time in human history that the fastest advanes happened. Youtube, Social networks like facebook and the massive amount of media coverage about allow for relative unknowns to become mega huge stars just by placing themselves in the public eye. This means that our children need to be empowered to show their best face and always be respectful of themselves and others in all their endeavours but to go ut an d try the things they wish to attempt.
The rules of the game though that must be enforced by them in their interactions with other people are a) they are important b) they are worthwhile c) they deserve cudos for trying d) listen to the advice of mentors when it is given wisely e) never give up f) never lose faith.
Ambition can be a nasty thing too though and so they need to learn balance and perspective. They can achieve their dreams but it can not be at the cost of everything else in their lives. I am a great proponent of the Nine Intelligences. Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences is an interesting parenitng tool as far as I am concerned. It not only shows how children can be intelligent without book smarts but it also shows how to address the issue of balance in a child's life.
Visual/Spatial Intelligence is seeing and imagining
In a more specific scenario you may have a child that is very talented at sport and may want to play Australian Rules Football. They would be said to have Kinesthetic Intelligence however all nine need to work within conjunction to each other as they overlap and work together to make our lives make sense. A Game of fottball requires physical prowess but also the use of mathematical, verbal and interpersonal intelligences.
VISUAL/SPATIAL - learning visually and organizing
ideas spatially. Seeing concepts in action in order to understand
them. The ability to "see" things in one's mind in planning
to create a product or solve a problem.
If we take this at it's core value this means that every person has all nine intelligences in varying levels. Therefore with proper training and support we actually can do anything we set our minds to. We have to have the commitment, dedication and drive to stick to it though. We have evidence of great and courageous deeds every day in the newspapers, on TV and on the Internet. A paraplegic sailed around the world, a blind man climbed Moutn Everest and a man with Asperger's is one of the richest men in the world.
Putting it in perspective though, you don't need a disability to have ambition, You don't need to have hurdles to overcome. Just think what would happen if those children less challenged by life could have the drive and ambition to succeed where would they be?
To recap though, it is most important to keep your feet firmly planted n the ground even though your head is in the clouds, never lose sight of your dream and even if life sets you back continue to go for it!
Our job as a parent is to allow our children to be free to choose what they do with their lives however this can not be to the detriment of their welfare in any way, We need to ensure we are the safety nets for them should their plans fail for some reason and we need to ensure they are always welcome and loved as this provides the best security for our children from failing.
We need to encourage them to reach for the stars and follow their dreams and to believe they can achieve it if they are ambitious and hardworking then nothing can stop them from achieving their goals. But in all things they must remain true to themselves and never sellout or sell themselves short. The only true success is when you have tried your hardest despite all obstacles and you have treated yourself and others with respect and at the end of the game you are still standing, still dreaming and still trying.
So Dream, Fly and teach your children how to by your
An organization that I am happy to support is Autism SA. I have many family members and friends who have Autism spectrum disorders and other such disorders and when I found out about this event I though how completely appropriate. Click on the link and register if you are in Australia as it is happening all round the country. http://drawtism.com.au
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