I am the "Fool on the Hill"; "I am The Walrus" and "The Eggman"; I am "The Eye of the Tiger" and "The King of the Hill". I am an Enigma and a Mystery ... I am the Guru of The Cosmic Cauldron.



An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole, which she carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. 

Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream.

 "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your house."

The old woman smiled, 'Did you notice that there are flowers on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"

''That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted
flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back, you
water them."

''For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to
decorate the table. Without you being just the way you are, there would not be
this beauty to grace the house. "


Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them. So, to all of my crackpot friends, have a great day and remember to smell the flowers on your side of the path! Don't forget the Crack Pot! - that brought it to your attention!!



In ancient Greece, Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great
philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said,
"Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a
little test. It's called the Test of Three."


"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student,
let's take a moment to test what you're going to say.

The first test is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about
to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it."

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not.

Now let's try the second test, the test of Goodness. Is what you are about to
tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him even
though you're not certain it's true?"

The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass though, because there is a Third test --
the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my
student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor
Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"

The man was defeated and left, ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high


1. Taoism: Shit happens.
2. Buddhism: If shit happens, it's not really shit.
3. Islam: If shit happens, it's the will of Allah.
4. Protestantism: Shit happened because you didn't work hard enough.
5. Judaism: Why does this shit always happen to us?
6. Hinduism: This shit happened before.
7. Catholicism: Shit happens because you are bad.
8. Hare Krishna: Shit happens rama rama want to buy incense stick?
9. Atheism: No shit.
10. Jehovah's witness: Knock, Knock shit happens.
11. Hedonism: There's nothing like a good shit happening.
12. Christian Science: Shit happens in the mind.
13. Agnosticism: Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn't.
14. Existentialism: What is shit anyway.
15. Stoicism: This shit doesn't bother me.
16. Asatru: Shit happens get, over it or we will have to kill you.
17. Wiccan: Shit happens. Stop blaming us. It ain't our fault. Remember the burning times.
18. Satanism: Glory Be to the Shit Happening. Chaos Rulz.
19. Rastafarianism: Let's smoke this shit.

If you wish to make The Guru a friend you can find him here: http://www.bebo.com/WizardI26




"For your own sake ... always make sure your nose is warm before you stick it where it doesn't belong!"

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